Party Girls

 

Evidently we’ve officially reached the pouty lip pose phase.

These two cute girls threw quite a bash Friday night.  They did it all on their own and worked SO hard to pull it all off.  I think it was a success, all we know is there was a gaggle of giggly, goofy, girly girls up and down our stairs all night.  Here are some photos of the food they prepared and some of their décor:

Here’s their cute banner they made and a pumpkin balloon dart game

One of their friends brought this creepy snack and the apple mouths are the other thing Anna and Chloe made.

It was really funny to me that these two 13 years olds have already taken things to a whole new level I would never even imagine doing, let alone actually do all that.

Update

I’ve had such an appreciation for Brennan lately.  He’s the best.  He worries a lot about supporting this motley crew of ours and he worries about how to help me and the kids with all we have going on.  I love watching him enjoy the kids, he’s pretty open about when they’re driving him crazy, but he’s also pretty transparent about when he’s proud of them or when he thinks they’re the smartest, cutest, funniest things on the planet.  I love how tenderhearted he is.  I also love that he’ll talk to me and laugh with me and laugh at himself.  We got laughing so hard the other night, we could not stop for like 20-25 minutes.  It was one of the best things ever.   We love Brennan.

I was finally released as our ward choir director.  My first reaction was complete jubilation.  The next week I led them for the last time and was completely filled with sadness and appreciation for that whole experience.  It was one of those callings that I was honestly incapable of, but through many tender mercies and many talented, patient people it was overall a good experience, and in my humble opinion – we had a great little choir.  Mostly it taught me that we truly can do anything the Lord asks of us.

Anna is just wrapping up her soccer season and starting her indoor soccer season.  It’s been such a beautiful Fall, they never had to cancel or postpone one game due to weather.  That’s kind of amazing.   How great is it to have an excuse to sit in beautiful weather watching your daughter and her friends do something they love and are good at.  She’s on a comp team this year and it’s been a blast.   It always cracks people up watching her be so tough because she’s so delicate looking.  She’s a sweet girl, she loves her siblings and we’re so grateful for all she does to help us with them.  She’s enjoying school right now, even math – yay!  She loves being in Young Women’s and is currently completely consumed with planning a Halloween party with her bff, Chloe.  We love Anna.

Abigail is probably the busiest,  she’s involved in a lot, but it never overwhelms me because she just kind of takes care of everything she needs to take care of.  She and Anna are doing this musical theatre workshop and loving it.  I can’t wait to see their performance in a few weeks.  In my last post I mentioned that Abby gets a little crazy, for example, she has this funny dramatic streak in her that doesn’t always make sense but is always entertaining.  The other day she was playing with Joshy and they were in a little tent thing and as Anna walked up to them she heard Abby say to Josh “Cub Josephina, you have much to learn.”  I know you’re confused, so are we, but it cracks us up anyway.  Abby is often found with Joshy, she takes such good care of him.  We love Abigail.

Nate got a new bike and the two are rarely seen without the other.   When he’s not on his bike he’s telling me how much he needs football receiving gloves.  His cousin, Rex, has some and evidently every football player on tv.  He cracks me up when he gets obsessed about something, he was home sick one day and wanted to talk about those gloves to me all day.  He sometimes gets a little distracted at school so I’m always asking him how he’s doing in school and if he’s getting in trouble.  More often than not his answer is something along these lines: well, so and so said or did something SO funny (usually funny things like burping etc) that I had to laugh and then I got in trouble.  He’s such a cute little guy who loves to laugh, I love that about him – his teachers probably don’t love that about him.  He’s completely devoted to Joshua and the devotion is mutual.  What a cute little pair, Joshy is always asking for Nate.  We love Nate.

The other day we were driving in rush-hour traffic to one of Anna’s games.  Benny spoke up and said, “This sure is traffic, I say!”  He has the cutest little way of saying grown-up things in such a reassuringly 5 year old way.  He loves school.  Actually, I’m not sure if it’s school he loves or just  that he’s reached that very grown-up threshold of big-kidness.  Anyway, he’s always on the hunt for “top box’s” (box tops) and is more than happy to do homework.  He has become a little less patient about running errands and doing anything else of my bidding, I think he finds it a little insulting given his Kindergarten status.  He too got a new bike and he and his best little friend, Will, have worked out a system of one of them watching to see if there are cars coming and sounding the “all clear” so the other one can streak down our very steep driveway, into the cul-de-sac across the street.  We love Benjamin.

(One of our go-to games for FHE is our version of “charades”.  We just basically act like anything we want to and everyone tries to figure it out.  This was a clever little thing Ben came up with to mimic a duck)

Joshua has taken 2 to new heights.  He can be the most adorable little creature you ever did see and then two seconds later a little madman.  He is for the most part, good-natured, but he is also very opinionated.  He also benefits from older siblings and has learned a few opinions and dramatic declarations from some pretty masterful teachers.  Today he was in time-out and when I opened his door so he could come out he yelled “Get out” and slammed his door shut again.  It’s actually kind of sad, but for some reason it struck me so funny that my 2 year old just told me to “get out.”  He is currently obsessed with Mickey Mouse.  It’s his favorite show and the only one he’ll watch.  He loves his grandparents and talks about them all the time.  He loves his siblings and his friend, Daisy.  He repeats EVERYTHING he hears the big kids say.  Ben will say, “Mom is that truck carrying furniture?” and then Joshy having know idea what he’s saying will ask me the exact same thing and demand to be taken seriously.  We love Joshua.

I’m loving this little family of ours.  We have lots of things to work on, but I’m pretty happy to be working on them with these particular people.

One more video, of some of the kids having a good time.

Fall Break

We had such a great trip down South over our Fall Break.  Thursday, I very bravely drove all the kids by myself so Brennan could just meet us there from his business trip to further down South.  Other than the extra hour due to traffic and then another hour due to Wendy’s we finally made it and the kids were actually really good.   It was especially great to be reunited with Brennan Thursday night after missing him for a few days.  We stayed, of course, with Brennan’s Mom and Stepdad, Jamie and John.  Poor John is fighting his way back from a nasty bout of pneumonia and so they’ve both been homebound for a few months.  Friday John and I stayed behind while Brennan and his Mom loaded the kids up and braved another drive (just over an hour) with all the kids out to visit Brennan’s Uncle Dixon and Aunt Lana.  They’re the best.  Dixon has a new museum with all kinds of great Native American artifacts.  The kids loved it.  Then they were treated to a barbecue lunch and some 4 wheelers.   Of course, Lana had cute little Halloween treats on hand that the kids were more than happy to take of her hands.  Brennan’s brother, Brett, and his girlfriend, Julie came too.  The kids love Brett, and were so excited to get to meet Julie.  They also got to meet up with Brennan’s aunt, Elaine and her husband, Russell.  I was sad to miss them all, but loved having a day to sleep, read and shop and then was treated to dinner by John with his daughter, Emily, and her son, Sheldon.

They stopped a few times to do some exploring

 

 

 

Russell, Elaine, Brett, Brennan, Joshy, Anna

Abby, Nate, Ben

Anyway, we reunited after dinner for a mellow evening and tired kids.  Saturday morning we got up and went on a great hike, and then went out to lunch and to our favorite old-fashioned candy store.  Brennan went home with Joshy for naps (and football games) while I took to the 4 big kids over to my Uncle and Aunt’s condo where my parents happened to be staying, for a swim.  We came home for a lovely home-cooked meal by Jamie and then went out for frozen yogurt.  Sunday, we caravanned home with my parents (which really means we stuck them with three kids ).  It was great, Brennan and I were able to chat almost the whole way home. 

A Word About Older Kids

I’ve been one of those Mom’s who has kind of fretted about what I’d do when I didn’t have any little ones around.  I still think I will always miss not having little ones around when that day comes; however, I have made a discovery – older kids are a lot of fun.  Maybe that is obvious to most people, but when I thought about older kids I thought about the drama and ups and downs of teenage years, rebelliousness, relationships etc.  The thing I failed to realize is that there is a lot that’s fun about those years too.  Granted my kids are still on the young side of older, but lately we have had so much fun with the girls.   It’s so fun to introduce them to things I loved.  Anna watched “Emma” awhile ago and I got to re-live falling in love with everything Austen.  They are the first to notice a new haircut or something new I’m wearing. 

It’s also fun to watch them get good at things, to find their niche in life and really start to get excited and good at it.   They are hilarious, no one can get Brennan laughing like Anna can.  She has such a spontaneous, fun, funny personality and her observations about her life in junior high are usually very entertaining.   Abby too, every now and then she gets this wild look in her eye and everything out of her mouth is CRAZY and loves to laugh at herself.   She also has a way of cutting right to the heart of the matter in a very funny way.  They’ve learned how to tease and mimic us, mostly Brennan, without being disrespectful.  It kills us.  I’m sure we’re in for plenty of roller coaster rides as we transition into these years ahead, but the fun part is that we’re really liking the humans our kids are turning out to be. 

The Magic of Music

Last night Brennan had to work late and at the end of a very long day one of my kids and I had a showdown over homework.   It was exhausting and sad and left me feeling frustrated at my inability to help this child.  Nothing I ever say seems to help.   It had ended, but we were both still upset.  I sent them all to bed and sat down to scratch their backs for a minute.  I felt like singing them a song so I let them pick one and I’d sing it.  This child wouldn’t pick a song , so I picked one and started singing.  It’s one of my favorites, do you know the “Angel Lullaby” I think it’s from “My Turn on Earth?”  Anyway, as I sang, “…sleep, sleep, till the darkness ends…”  I became aware that we both felt so much better, the tension in our bodies was released and replaced with relaxed.  There was a spirit of calm and love and peace in the room.  I knew the darkness had ended for that day all because of a little song.  Someday the darkness - all darkness - will end forever, until then we’ll keep singing.

This Happens At Your House Too, Right?

This morning was one of those moments I’ve talked about before that was so perfectly awful you start wonder if you’re on a hidden camera show.  I went walking and evidently the second I left at 5:55 am Joshy woke up.  Brennan got him settled back in his crib and then Nate and Ben woke up at about 6:30 just chatting and laughing away.  I walked in at 7 to hear Joshy again so I got him up and then proceeded to go about the hectic morning routine.  I started making pancakes and orange julius and making Anna’s lunch while getting the kids to the table for scriptures.  As they took turns reading verses, Nate accidentally dumped half the thing of syrup on his plate.  Anna got mad at him and that made him mad.  I intervened and and told them to resume reading.  Somehow they flared up again, but this time I made sure they knew I was serious about them stopping.  Then Nate spilled orange julius all over the table just as Abby crashed into Ben’s stool when she got up to get some more pancakes.  Abby was howling and mad at Ben for moving his stool right as she stood up, so then he started crying. 

Brennan came out shortly after all that and asked why he heard everyone of our kids crying.  It’s a well-oiled machine around here.  Clearly I have this parenting thing down

Pondering on Parenthood

Parenting has been on my mind a lot lately.  I read a book called Nutureshock which shows through pretty convincing research/studies that many of the things we as parents do with the best of intentions actually have detrimental or at least ineffective results.  It’s becoming more and more apparent to me that even the best of parental intentions just aren’t enough.  I think good intentions count for something, but they don’t ensure against making some pretty whopping mistakes. 

Brennan and I tend to parent by instinct.  I also read and think about  the parenting topic a lot, but basically I go with my gut.  My Mom is a great thinker and she thought through so many things that I never would have.   Things like hating coloring books because she felt they stifled creativity to just color someone else’s designs.  I think she’s right, but I know I would have never figured that out on my own.  

Another thing she taught me that I’m not sure I would have gotten without her is how crucial it is to guard a child’s childhood.  I’m not sure how she knew this was so important, but I’m so glad she  did.   Even though it was sometimes frustrating as a kid when my Mom didn’t have what I deemed a good explanation for not letting me do something, I now believe this is one of the most important things we can do as parents.  That said, we certainly don’t always get it right , but I’m so grateful that at least it’s on my radar, thanks to Mom. 

So often in an effort to be close and connected to our kids we actually put them on the fast track and deprive them of crucial years of their childhoods.   We want them to have every educational advantage so we enroll them in years of academic intensive preschool, we want to have constant assurance of their physical safety and whereabouts so we give them cell phones before they’re mature enough to handle constant access to texting, internet, and music.   We want them to fit in socially so we buy them every new trend, thereby teaching them they are what they wear.  We want to be involved in their lives, so we get unhealthily involved in and even sometimes facilitate their adolescent “love lives”.    Then, ironically, our protective instincts kick in when it comes to responsibilities and consequences for our children.  I keep hearing about young adults who in a lot of ways act like children, they don’t want to grow up and take on the responsibilities of jobs and marriage and family life.   I wonder if that’s at least in part because they weren’t allowed to enjoy their childhoods when they were actually children? 

Childhood is such a gift, ideally it’s a unique little cocoon full of development, imagination, wonder, love and security in a often threatening and uncertain world.  I feel like every year a child can remain in his/her cocoon he/she gains layer after layer of armor against the inevitable battles they must someday face.  Not the false armor of arrogance, aggressiveness, manipulation or defensiveness, but the real stuff – kindness, intelligence, responsibility, creativity, integrity and maturity.

Thank goodness, I had a smart Mom.  I need to do better.