The “D” Word

The other day Ben casually mentioned that everyone at school had said the “d” word but not to worry he didn’t say it.  Having a hard time picturing his sweet little teachers leading the class in cussing during circle time I decided a few questions were in order.  “What’s the “d” word, again?”  “You know…stupid”.  “Oh, and everyone at school said that?”  “Yep.”  “Even your teachers?”  “No, just my friends, at recess.”  A few little facts make a big difference.

Happy Medium

Yesterday after getting Anna out the door to catch her bus, and driving Nate and Abby’s carpool the two little boys and I drove home and had a nice leisurely morning.  I got a few things done while they played happily.  Then, I bathed the boys, put Joshy down for a nap, got a few more things done, got myself ready and then got Joshy up, fed the boys and loaded them up to take Ben to preschool.  After dropping him off, Joshy and I ran to the school to take Nate a paper he needed and forgot to take, then went to run a few other errands.  We got back home around 2 just long enough to unload some groceries and snuggle for a few minutes before loading back up to go get Ben.  We picked him up and ran to the library for a few minutes then picked up the big kids.  I dropped them home where Chloe and Anna were waiting for me to help them load up the car with all their “Annie” props, scenery and costumes and take them to the church for the big dress rehearsal.  We filled the minivan and took Chloe and another friend, Dani, to the church where we unloaded the car.  I left those two at the church to set up while I went back home.  I helped Abby with her hair and makeup and the boys find their costumes then took all of them and the rest of the scenery back to the church.  I left them at the Church where Chloe’s Mom was going to supervise while I took Joshy home for a  nap.  Joshy wouldn’t go to sleep so I got him up and entertained him for a bit and called to check in on the girls.  Chloe’s mom had gotten held up at home and never made it down there so I loaded Joshy up and went  back down to watch the rest of their dress rehearsal.  They finished an hour or so after I got there and then I helped them clean up.  

We were up on the stage when we heard a sickeningly loud crash.  I looked over to see a big heavy wooden platform (probably about 4 feet wide and 5 feet long) which had been on it’s side fall over and miss Joshua by about 1/4 inch.  I was relieved for a second until Anna screamed that Ben was under it.  As I processed that information I suddenly saw a little blond head behind the curtain underneath the platform.  I ran faster than I ever have and heaved the platform off of Ben’s little body terrified of what might have happened to him.  He was crying softly, but he hadn’t screamed or anything, just sort of whimpered for a long time which was little unnerving.  Thankfully he was fine, just really scared.  Evidently he’d been trying to climb it and it tipped.  I don’t like thinking about what could have happened.  I’m so grateful he and Joshua and everyone else nearby was ok. 

At 6:30, we finally left the church and raced home to feed everyone and help Anna make a recipe she had chosen for a “Bring your favorite recipe and a sample to share with 15 people” activity for mutual.  I chopped 5 pounds of potatoes while Anna combined the other ingredients.  We got the herb-roasted potatoes in the oven behind schedule so she got a ride to mutual and I told her I’d bring the potatoes to the church when they were done.  Brennan went to a game that night straight from work and wouldn’t be home til late.  I helped Abby and Nate with their homework, got Joshua ready for bed, left Abby in charge of Nate and Ben for a minute while I took Josh with me to take the potatoes down to the church to Anna, came home and put Josh to bed.   Nate was tired and frustrated because I wouldn’t let him play video games and spiraled into a pretty decent melt down.  I put him in the laundry room and tried to read to Ben while Abby was reading her own book.  Nate was yelling and Ben and Abby both started crying that they couldn’t focus on their books because of Nate.   The words  “There is beauty all around, when there’s love at home” went through my head as I lost my temper with Nate.  We pulled it together and got Abby, Nate, and Ben to bed.  I waited for Anna to come home from mutual and dig into her vast amounts of homework she hadn’t touched yet.  At 9 she finally waltzed in.  By that time I was in a near vegetative state, but managed to urge her to get ready for bed and go downstairs to start her homework.  By 9:30 she was downstairs and by 10:30 she had half of her math done with instructions to wake her at 6 so she could finish. 

A part of me likes days like that.  I feel busy and productive and involved and aside from a few impatient moments, like a “good mom”.  Everyone was active and involved in something, if someone asked me what I had done all day I could rattle off a list tangible tasks I had done.  However, on days like that my interactions with my kids are logistics and damage control. “Go get your shoes on and grab a snack we have to go.”  “Ben, you won’t ever climb anything ever again without checking with me or Dad first, right?”   “Abby, you can’t permanently reserve a seat in the car, Nate has as much a right to sit there as you do.”

When Anna came home from mutual she wanted to chat and tell me about her activity, but all I could think about was how much homework she still had to do and how much sleep she was going to be deprived, and how much I wanted not to talk or move.  Is there a way to balance getting everything that needs to be done with being ready and willing and alert to listen and to really interact with my kids?  I seem to be either or, either I’m in mellow-ready-f0r-whatever-comes mode, where I can take time for a tender moment, utilize a teaching opportunity, or play a game and let the house fall down around me OR, I can do the task master, productive mode.  I can’t seem to find a happy medium.  Is there a happy medium or is one always at the expense of the other?

Update

 

First of all, I wanted to post a picture of these cute little ornaments my kids painted.  I found these cute plain white ornaments when I was in line at the fabric store after being there for roughly THREE HOURS (the only good thing about that was at least I didn’t have any children with me, but I still wanted to gouge my eyes out).  Anyway, these were like $.30 and I love how they turned out.  They used markers and paint and they’re now my favorite ornaments.  We’ll definitely be doing that each year.

Ben’s, Nate’s, Abby’s, and Anna’s

I love all my children so very, very much at every age, but an 18 month old is my favorite creature EVER.  Joshua is off the charts adorable.  Sure, he has his moments of crankiness, but for the most part he’s just pure payoff.  He’s finally starting to talk a bit, and because he’s been in no hurry to speak, we’ve taught him a few signs.  I’m pretty sure there’s nothing cuter than a baby signing.  He signs and says, “milk”.  He also signs “more” and “shoes”.  Shoes are his favorite thing in his life, he wants them on at all times, and if he can’t have them on because he has footed jammies on and they won’t fit, he either just carries his shoes around or puts a pair of Nate’s or Ben’s on.  Whenever anyone walks in he says, “Hhhhhhiiiiii!”  He also says, “Nigh, nigh!” and sometimes “than koo”.   When we ask him what a cow says, he scrunches up his face, wrinkling his nose and says, “Moooo”.  For Christmas he got one of those darling real looking shopping carts, we have been cracking up watching him get a wet wipe and wipe down the front of the cart like he’s seen me do at the store every time we go.  In case you can’t tell, we love Joshua.

 

Benjamin is a busy guy.  Our neighbors got a Wii and he’s pretty much moved in.  Fortunately, the neighbor kids have preschool every morning, so I still have him around every morning.  He’s so great about playing with his motorcycle guys and blocks for hours.  I tell him a lot how great he’s playing.  Every now and then if I haven’t mentioned it, he’ll say, “Mom, how am I playing?”  It cracks me up.   The other night Joshy was crying and clinging to my leg while I was trying to make dinner.  Ben looked down at him and said, “He is just a mess.”   We love Ben.

Nate is very much a 7 year old boy.  I drove Nate and his friend somewhere the other day and had the privilege of listening to them take turns saying things like:  “You and your girlfriend sat and ate peanut butter together and then burped!” followed by bursts of hysterical laughter, then the other would say something equally “hilarious”.    We love Nathan.

Abby and her friend, Paige, are quite a team.  The other day they played at Paige’s house and made a time capsule.  I asked her if they wanted to do it here, but they told me that they already had a specific spot of ground in mind at Paige’s.   Abby’s school teacher is probably late 40’s early 50’s and is really pretty and stylish.  I bought Abby some long brown boots and some new pants.  She put them all on and was feeling great.  She pranced around for a second and then said, “I’m like a mini Mrs. Potter”.  We love Abigail.

Anna is as busy as ever.  She’s been playing on an indoor soccer team.  Her team has some really good players, but they’re playing teams who have played indoor for years and on comp teams so basically our team is getting pulverized week after week.  It’s been kind of great to watch them though, they’ve made huge progress and are determined to give it everything they have.   She’s also been working really hard on her’s and Chloe’s production of “Annie” and the performances are this weekend!  We love Anna.

Brennan’s two least favorite things in the world are – camping and cold.  He got to combine them and participate in the Klondike campout with his young men this weekend.  Plus, he was in charge.  He’s been losing sleep over this for weeks now so needless to say we’re all very happy that’s over.  He actually had fun too, so that was a bonus.  I’m very proud of him.  We love Brennan.

Annie!

FYI, Anna and Chloe’s production of “Annie” starring Abby as Grace, and Nate as Rooster, Anna as Lilly, and Ben as Sandy (the dog), is this weekend Jan. 28th at 5:30 pm and Jan. 29th at 4:00 pm at my church building in the gym.  It lasts about and hour and a half.  Please do not feel any pressure to come, but several people have asked about it and everyone is welcome.

Birthday Girl

On January 16th, Abigail Jo turned 10.  How can it be possible that this sweet, wise, insightful, quirky, creative, sensitive, bright little light of a girl has only been part of my life on earth for 10 years and yet, how it is possible that my chubby cherub, happy, burrowing little baby girl is already 10 years old?  When I think of Abby I can’t help but smile.   Abby knows exactly what she wants, she’s always working on or towards something.  Her latest project is writing a story, she’s already written lots and lots of poems.  She’ll spend hours creating things for her American Girl dolls and loves taking care of them.  When she’s determined to do something there’s no stopping her.

Not surprisingly, she knew exactly what she wanted for her birthday.  Number one on that list was a SNUGGIE!  She used to make fun of that infomercial, but a few short years later she just had to have one.

 

She wanted an Easy Bake Oven – her own, but Anna has an old one and I just couldn’t buy another one, so I found an Easy Bake cookie and cake kit that she can cook right in the microwave.

 

She also knew exactly which cake she wanted.

And, as always she was so grateful for all her fun gifts.  She got to go to a play with my parents and Grandma Bell (Cinderella) and she got to go shopping with birthday money from Grandpa John and Grandma Jamie.  Not a bad birthday at all.  We love our sweet little Abby Jo!

Behind Already

Here it is January, a time for new beginnings, a clean slate, fresh start… you catch my drift.  Here I am already wayyyyyy behind on posting.  I’ve been intending to post over the last few weeks, but wasn’t able to organize my thoughts.  I am proceeding anyway.

• Is there a better smell than homemade whole wheat bread cooking?   Is there a better sight than 5 beautiful loaves (tonight’s batch finally managed to have fairly consistent loaf sizes, yippee!) sitting on cooling racks on the kitchen counter?  Is there any better taste than a piece of light whole wheat goodness?  Hmmmmn.  I think not.
• I was asked to sing at our Christmas Relief Society meeting.  I was terrified.  I don’t really sing solos publicly anymore.  I agreed and then started to panic.  I found a song and started practicing constantly.  My family was really tired of my song, but they didn’t say that.  After practicing so much I started to relax a little, but really needed help.  I called my friend and neighbor who has more credentials than should be legal.  She came and gave me a free voice lesson and helped me sooooo much.  Mostly, I felt so much more confident.  I sang the song in a family room crammed full of 40 women right in front of me.  Terrifying, but I did it.  And, I loved it.  Music is amazing.  After that, I remembered how much I love singing and how much I had to learn and that I didn’t ever want to get to the point I can’t do it anymore because I quit using it.  I had my first official voice lesson (first in 20 years) today and loved it.  It feels great to develop and appreciate a talent.
• Along those same lines, I think I want to write more.  I feel so grateful for blogs, it’s a wonderful way to journal, and to open up or share experiences with friends and family, and is the perfect outlet when i  just feel like writing.   I have dreams of writing a book, but I have no idea what kind of book I’d write.  I always thought I would do children’s books, but I have had to face the fact that I’m just not a very creative writer.  I need to find my niche.
• I am trying to close in on some resolutions.  It’s honestly a bit daunting, because there’s a lot to do and I’m trying not to overwhelm myself, so I’m trying to really zero in on some simple, realistic goals to start with.  I think I’m almost ready to commit to some.  I also like the concept of having a theme word for the year.  One word that kind of says it all.  My contenders are “order” and “finish”.  I like “order” because it will remind me to physically put things in order, like the laundry room, aka “pit of despair”.  I like that it goes deeper than that though too, that it will help me remember to put first things first, that sometimes the right order is to let the housework go and attend to children or nourish myself spiritually etc.  I tend to get things backwards a lot and would love to have every kind of order in my life.   “Finish” would be to remind me to follow through on all my scattered ideas and tasks.  I can’t tell you how often I have an impulse to do something nice for someone and then don’t follow through.  Or, how many times I start to clean something or do some kind of project and then don’t ever complete it.  Maybe I should just have two words this year.  Hmmm
• I think next time I’ll organize my thoughts before I post.

Inauguration

I thought I already posted about this, but evidently I didn’t.   My Dad just emailed us a bunch of pictures that I really want to save and these blog books are really my best chance of getting photos any type of organized. 
So, on Jan. 3, 2011, we had the unique opportunity to attend the Governor’s inauguration.  My little family, (minus Joshy) plus Brennan’s mom, Jamie, got to go to the State Capitol and watch my Dad be sworn into office as Lieutenant Governor.  What a thrill. 

Some devoted constituents

One of the really special moments for us was meeting Pres. Dieter Uchtdorf and his beautiful wife.

I love these experiences myself, but it’s just really thrilling for Brennan and me that our kids get to be part of these moments.  I hope that this will give them a great sense of appreciation for their freedom and government.  I hope these experiences will help them feel a greater sense of responsibility throughout their lives to vote and fight for things they believe in.

Love them!