Update

Just want to report on the rest of the family before I forget a few things.

First of all Brennan and my brothers went golfing the other night (don't worry the big kids were at my Mom's under my SIL, Rebecca's, care and Benny rode in the cart with the golfers) and when he gave his name at the clubhouse a teenage boy overheard and somehow actually recognized his name. "Didn't you qualify for the State Am?" Brennan was kind of stunned but told him that he had indeed and chatted with him for a few minutes about the tournament. I'm not sure if this cute boy memorized the list of everyone who qualified or what, but he was treating Brennan like a celebrity. When they finished golfing he saw him again and the boy came up and shook his hand and told him his name. His very first fan. We love Brennan.

Anna has been DYING to hold the baby. It's killing her that he has to be under the lights all the time. She dotes on him and wants to be my trusted helper. She even said, "Mom, in the middle of the night when you're tired and the baby is fussy will you come get me so I can help him?" The other morning I told her not to worry about folding the clothes because they were going to the water park early. She quickly said, "But Mom, I don't want you to do it." I feel like she's already grown up so much since Monday. Yesterday at the lake they had rented jet skis and Anna was LOVING it. I'm glad I wasn't there because Brennan admitted she was scaring him to death with her wild ways. She tends to be a little trapped sometimes with some compulsiveness so I love it when her free spirit side comes out. We love Anna.

Sweet little Abigail survived a very rough few days when we were not all under one roof. She is the one I can count on to tell me exactly what they've all been up to and what I missed out on. She has an amazing memory, is super observant and loves to chat so I know I'm getting the whole story. She's loved spending so much time with so many of her aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins. I think it's been a little hard on her to be away from home so much though. As social as she is, she's got a little homebody in her. We love Abigail.

The other day, pre-Joshua, Nate brought me a can of root beer to open for him. I opened it, took a little sip and then handed it to him. Without missing a beat he quickly groaned and said, "Oh no! Now I'm going to be preg-a-nant!" He was joking but did it so dead-pan and I was so caught off guard we all laughed hard. He's really getting funny. He is kind of obsessed with Joshua and is constantly begging to hold him. He's also been so sweet with Ben and everyday asks Benny if he forgives him and if they're still friends. We love Natey.

I can't even begin to explain how incredibly good-natured Benny has been about being crippled, having a heavy hot itchy-cast, missing out on a LOT. What a HUGE blessing. We were so worried about him, but he's been amazing. He gets tired and restless and cranky every now and then, but for the most part he's been great. He seems to just understand he can't swim and play like the other kids and has accepted it completely and cheerfully. This is my child who is always on the go and always running, I really don't think he ever actually just walks. It's about the cutest thing in the world to watch him scootch himself around on his bottom with that huge old bright green cast in front of him. He loves his new baby brother and always wants me to have the baby sit by him. We love Benny.



Joshua is magically delicious. Sweet and lovable as can be. We love Joshua.

The Not Very Interesting, but For History's Sake, Saga of Exhaustion, Hormones and Bili Lights

Whew, what a week! I think I said that in my last post, but trust me it's true enough to repeat. We kicked things off great with the birth of Joshua on Monday afternoon at 2:30. That same day my Mom reported that Ben had hurt his leg. My parents came to see us and brought the kids. Brennan took the kids home. My sister, Eliza came and kept me and baby company that evening bearing wonderful gifts! Tuesday the babe and I relaxed at the hospital while Brennan stayed home with the kids. Eliza and her kids brought us lunch that afternoon and kept me entertained while Lizey chased Belle around our room. Brennan and the kids came to see Joshua and me that afternoon and then went back home. He dropped them off at my Mom's that evening to come spend some time with me at the hospital. That was a definite highlight of the week. It was so nice to just be able to talk and laugh with Bren and get to know our newest family member.

Wednesday morning Brennan took Benny to a sports therapist to have his leg looked at and that's when we found out it was broken and when they put that gigantic cast on him. They then raced the other direction to pick me and the baby up. Meanwhile my wonderful sister-in-law, Macy, picked up the three big kids and took them to the park and swimming. Brennan got me and the little boys home and settled where my Mom came over to be our nurse then he took off for the big State Golf Amateur. I felt so bad not to be able to go watch, he was so nervous and torn about going. I'm so grateful our family was so willing to help out so he could do it. He didn't play his best golf but was really excited when he got home to have experienced it.

Thursday morning I had to take Joshua for a follow up because when we left the hospital he had a little jaundice. Anna watched the big kids including our crippled Benny because Brennan had an early tee time for his second and last day of the tournament. When I got back the doctor's office called to tell me Joshua's bilirubin levels had increased and they wanted us back the next morning for another screening and that they would have a bili light brought to our house. My mom came and got the big kids and took them over to hang out with Chris and Rebecca and their kids in town from NM. The baby and I got some much needed rest. Brennan came home that afternoon really happy and grateful for the experience of playing in that kind of setting. He played better his second day and had a great time.

Friday morning Brennan was supposed to go do a training for a big client, but got his kind boss to do it so I could take Joshua back in for his bili screening and he could take Ben back to the sports therapist because we were concerned that Ben still wasn't walking with his cast. Joshua's news came back bad, his bilirubin count was up again and we needed to keep him under the lights all day and night except when he needed to eat all weekend. That's the point at which I broke. I put my poor naked except for a diaper brand new baby in this metal suitcase with lights glaring down on him with his eye mask and he was screaming. I sat next to him and tried unsuccessfully to soothe him with his pacifier and stroking him. We both sobbed. My kids all stood around trying to figure out what in the world was wrong with their mom. The doorbell rang. It was my Relief Society President (the woman called to head up the women's organization of our ward) with a loaf of homemade bread. I told Brennan I just couldn't talk to anyone right then, he explained to her and she left. Later one of her counselors and a good friend of mine called and left a message that they were thinking of me and would be bringing dinner that evening. Another friend dropped off homemade scones. Another brought another loaf of homemade bread and another brought something Brennan had been looking for to protect Ben's cast.




Joshua finally calmed down and has done really well about laying under the lights night and day. I miss him like crazy and will admit to dragging out the feeding process just so I can hold him a little bit longer. I hope tomorrow when I take him back in we can be done with the lights. I now realize there are much worse things than jaundice and lights and that thank heaven we have the technology like this and that my sweet baby will be fine. The sweet thing is though that it didn't matter that in the scheme of things this really isn't a huge deal, it was a big deal to me then and these women knew it was and that's what they cared about.

Now every time my kids see me they ask me if I'm crying. I've probably scarred them for life with my little break down. I barely saw my two brothers and their families who have been around, but they've all been so great to entertain my kids. They took them to a water park on Friday and then the whole family but me and Joshy when to the lake on Saturday. Brennan couldn't have helped Ben and the other kids by himself. Thank you so much to everyone for all your help!!!! We are so looking forward to Brennan's mom coming soon and can't believe how blessed we are with such great families.

Joshua Dixon

We finally have our sweet new baby and he finally has a name. He's such a sweet baby, we're all just loving him. There's something so indescribably heavenly about having a newborn in our home. I found myself passing the time in the hospital just looking at him. I didn't want the tv on or even music. Whenever it's just the two of us I want to shut out all the noise in a desperate attempt to drink in just being in his presence. I know it will be fleeting and I don't want to miss a second.

The big kids are thrilled with their new brother and fight over the chance to hold him. Except Ben, he doesn't want to hold him, but loves to sit close and stroke his hair. Speaking of Ben, he's had quite a lot to adjust to lately.

On Monday after Brennan and I left for the hospital the boys were doing their daily routine of wrestling. For some reason this time Nate landed on Ben's leg in such a way as to crack his tibia bone (I think, is that the shin bone?). We didn't know that until Wednesday morning when Brennan took him in for an x-ray right before picking me and the baby up from the hospital. They say he should be able to walk on it in no time, but so far he says it hurts so we have a crippled little guy.

Anyway, it's definitely been quite a week and we're so grateful Joshua is here safe and sound. Thank you all for your congratulations and well wishes. We feel so loved and so grateful to have the best family and friends we could ever ask for.

It's a...

Baby!















Boy!!!!!


This is Eliza, Andrea's sister. She wanted me to announce the birth of their adorable little boy. He was born around 2:30 this afternoon and weighs 7 pounds 13 ounces and 20 1/2 inches long. Everything went well and mom and baby are healthy. Still not sure about the name yet, but I'm sure she'll be announcing that soon.

Here is the little package of sweetness

Women

I know it's kind of tacky to praise a group that I belong to, but I'm hoping it's a broad enough category as to be cleared of all tackiness charges. The deal is women are amazing. Not all of them, of course, I think we've all known some that are less than impressive, but generally speaking they are amazing.

Everyone who has a baby in my ward/neighborhood gets a shower, whether it's your first baby or 7th. Well, last night I got one. There are two other girls who very recently had their 3 an 4th babies and because there were three of us having babies so close together the women who organized the shower asked us if we'd mind combining. We were worried about people having to bring 3 gifts so they came up with a brilliant solution of doing a casserole shower where guests could bring one casserole/frozen meal and then it would all be divided amongst the three of us.

The guests arrived and most women showed up with three meals either that they had spent a great deal of time or money or both on. The other guests of honor had their sweet new babies there to show off, I had well nothing cute to show off. The babies were doted over and I was given enough sympathy and kindness and offers for help to carry me through the next few days. Every one of them showed such concern as if I was doing something they had never done when most of them did it more times. As I looked around the room at the totally diverse group - some stay at home moms, some working, some new young mothers, some who are braving the drama of teenagers, and some who are enjoying their grandkids, some who've had 5 or 6 or 8 kids and some who are struggling with infertility - I was just blown away. It was truly humbling and so gratifying to know that I belong to this group. A lot of the guests were women who are not particularly close with the three of us moms, different stages of life, new to the neighborhood, etc., but it doesn't matter --we're sisters and we're women.

Sunday Evening Walk

Tonight was a gorgeous night so we decided to head to a nearby trail and walk up to the pond. It was beautiful and a great little outing. As we drove to the trail Benny said, "Where are we going?" I answered, "We're going to go for a walk." He looked confused and said, "This is not a walk, this is a car." We straigtened it all out and had a lovely evening.

"All You Need is Love"

I feel very blessed to be loved by my sweet little family. Not only do they love me, they do it in very colorful ways. There are times I miss the love because I'm busy scratching my head at all the "color", but today is one of those days that I see all those little extras as nothing but endearing and entertaining.

First of all there's Brennan. He's been kind of wreck ever since we found out I tested positive for Strep B. About 40% of pregnant women do and it's rarely a risk to the mother, but can potentially be dangerous to the baby. However, with a couple of doses of antibiotics given to me during delivery the baby should be just fine. We did hear that we need four hours before the baby comes to get a couple of treatments in and given that this is my 5th baby we are a little nervous about things happening a little faster than that. Anyway, when Brennan cares about something, he worries. He's convinced that all our other babies were born in about 5 minutes and that my OB has no idea what he's talking about whenever I pass along his reassurances. He, of course, looked online and has read every horror story ever told about Strep B and manages to talk to people who have only very bad stories to tell.

Yesterday when I went to the doctor he discovered the baby was breech. He arranged to have me go to the hospital at 6:00 am to try and turn the baby. I literally didn't tell one women that who had experienced that process without them involuntarily groaning in agony. I was exhausted and scared and looking forward to calling Brennan. He could tell I was sort of overwhelmed and wisely remained outwardly calm. He went back to work and to the temple and checked on me throughout the day.

Last night we took the kids over to my parents' house to sleep so my Mom wouldn't need to come here at the crack of dawn. My parents were cheerful and gracious as always. Brennan told my mom that if they couldn't flip the baby I would need to have a circumcision. He caught himself immediately and corrected that to Cesarean (c-section), but the four of us still had a hearty laugh about that and my mood was definitely lifted.

When we got to the hospital this morning we checked in and they got an IV going just in case they needed to do an emergency c-section and they strapped all the monitors on. My doctor came in and brought in an ultra-sound machine to take a peek and much to our delight our sweet, wonderful, loving, adorable little child had turned him/herself around all on his/her own. Such a relief!

Brennan headed off to work and I drove myself home and crawled my grateful but exhausted self into bed. I awoke to the phone ringing and when I answered there was an irate man on the other end. It was Brennan. Evidently he had been trying to get a hold of me (called my cell about 6 times, my parents a couple of times and the hospital 3 times, but not the home phone.) I assured him I was fine and thanked him for his concern. I closed my eyes again with a smile knowing I have a good man, perhaps a little crazy, but a very good man. I love Brennan.

As for my kids, well they were in tears before we left for my parents' home. They were worried about me and sad we wouldn't all be together for a night. We reassured them that everything would be fine and tried to remind them how blessed they are to be able to go to their grandparents' home where they are completely comfortable and loved and adored. They bravely choked back their tears and packed their bedtime necessities, (a suitcase for Anna, a tiny backpack for Abby and a pillow case for the boys). We tucked them in and hugged and kissed them about 30 times each and went upstairs to chat with my parents. They soon came up like a little row of ducklings no longer able to hold back the emotion. They gave us several hundred more hugs and reminders to call them and to lock all our doors so we'd be safe at home and went back downstairs. A couple more trips upstairs for urgent things like fingernail clippers etc. and finally Brennan got them to sleep. There couldn't be 4 more tender-hearted affectionate little kids than ours. We love Anna, Abigail, Nathan, and Benjamin.

Earlier that day I called Brennan's Mom to give her the update and she said, "I told Brennan 'she'll be fine, she talks to God'". Her sweet words gave me courage throughout the night and morning and helped me remember that I can talk to God and how everything's less scary when I do. When I got back Abby said, "Mom, I know why the baby turned by itself. Grandma and I prayed that it would." Doesn't get much better than this, does it?