The Not Very Interesting, but For History's Sake, Saga of Exhaustion, Hormones and Bili Lights

Whew, what a week! I think I said that in my last post, but trust me it's true enough to repeat. We kicked things off great with the birth of Joshua on Monday afternoon at 2:30. That same day my Mom reported that Ben had hurt his leg. My parents came to see us and brought the kids. Brennan took the kids home. My sister, Eliza came and kept me and baby company that evening bearing wonderful gifts! Tuesday the babe and I relaxed at the hospital while Brennan stayed home with the kids. Eliza and her kids brought us lunch that afternoon and kept me entertained while Lizey chased Belle around our room. Brennan and the kids came to see Joshua and me that afternoon and then went back home. He dropped them off at my Mom's that evening to come spend some time with me at the hospital. That was a definite highlight of the week. It was so nice to just be able to talk and laugh with Bren and get to know our newest family member.

Wednesday morning Brennan took Benny to a sports therapist to have his leg looked at and that's when we found out it was broken and when they put that gigantic cast on him. They then raced the other direction to pick me and the baby up. Meanwhile my wonderful sister-in-law, Macy, picked up the three big kids and took them to the park and swimming. Brennan got me and the little boys home and settled where my Mom came over to be our nurse then he took off for the big State Golf Amateur. I felt so bad not to be able to go watch, he was so nervous and torn about going. I'm so grateful our family was so willing to help out so he could do it. He didn't play his best golf but was really excited when he got home to have experienced it.

Thursday morning I had to take Joshua for a follow up because when we left the hospital he had a little jaundice. Anna watched the big kids including our crippled Benny because Brennan had an early tee time for his second and last day of the tournament. When I got back the doctor's office called to tell me Joshua's bilirubin levels had increased and they wanted us back the next morning for another screening and that they would have a bili light brought to our house. My mom came and got the big kids and took them over to hang out with Chris and Rebecca and their kids in town from NM. The baby and I got some much needed rest. Brennan came home that afternoon really happy and grateful for the experience of playing in that kind of setting. He played better his second day and had a great time.

Friday morning Brennan was supposed to go do a training for a big client, but got his kind boss to do it so I could take Joshua back in for his bili screening and he could take Ben back to the sports therapist because we were concerned that Ben still wasn't walking with his cast. Joshua's news came back bad, his bilirubin count was up again and we needed to keep him under the lights all day and night except when he needed to eat all weekend. That's the point at which I broke. I put my poor naked except for a diaper brand new baby in this metal suitcase with lights glaring down on him with his eye mask and he was screaming. I sat next to him and tried unsuccessfully to soothe him with his pacifier and stroking him. We both sobbed. My kids all stood around trying to figure out what in the world was wrong with their mom. The doorbell rang. It was my Relief Society President (the woman called to head up the women's organization of our ward) with a loaf of homemade bread. I told Brennan I just couldn't talk to anyone right then, he explained to her and she left. Later one of her counselors and a good friend of mine called and left a message that they were thinking of me and would be bringing dinner that evening. Another friend dropped off homemade scones. Another brought another loaf of homemade bread and another brought something Brennan had been looking for to protect Ben's cast.




Joshua finally calmed down and has done really well about laying under the lights night and day. I miss him like crazy and will admit to dragging out the feeding process just so I can hold him a little bit longer. I hope tomorrow when I take him back in we can be done with the lights. I now realize there are much worse things than jaundice and lights and that thank heaven we have the technology like this and that my sweet baby will be fine. The sweet thing is though that it didn't matter that in the scheme of things this really isn't a huge deal, it was a big deal to me then and these women knew it was and that's what they cared about.

Now every time my kids see me they ask me if I'm crying. I've probably scarred them for life with my little break down. I barely saw my two brothers and their families who have been around, but they've all been so great to entertain my kids. They took them to a water park on Friday and then the whole family but me and Joshy when to the lake on Saturday. Brennan couldn't have helped Ben and the other kids by himself. Thank you so much to everyone for all your help!!!! We are so looking forward to Brennan's mom coming soon and can't believe how blessed we are with such great families.