Inspiration

There have been a few things knocking around in my brain over the last few days.  First of all, there’s a tv show that I adore.  It’s called “Who Do You Think You Are?”  Each week a celebrity sets out to trace their ancestry.  It’s fascinating and so moving to me.  It’s amazing to watch the incredible draw these people feel for their ancestors.  They are so excited to hear stories of those who lived long before them but passed a name or a trait or an ideal down to them.  It’s really the Spirit of Elijah, the hearts of the sons are turned to their fathers.  There’s something thrilling about it.

I recently read “My Life In France” about Julia Child.  It’s a fascinating read, but more importantly it has seemed to have unearthed something in me I never thought I had – ambition.  She was 37 years old when she decided to learn to cook.   Her occupation, her passion, wasn’t part of her life until she was 37.  I’m really not sure why that was so earth-shattering to me.  Maybe it’s because I’m 37 and I have been feeling lately a little old and past my prime.  As Joshua gets older every day, I’ve had to face the likelihood that he’s probably our last.  It breaks my heart, and I’ve been feeling a little lost. I’ve never really thought much past raising kids.  What then?  But, if an extremely tall, unique voiced, not very pretty woman from Pasadena, CA can master French cooking, write a ground-breaking cookbook, pioneer tv cooking shows, and do it all after 37 years old – suddenly there seems to be a lot of options for me.  I have no idea what they may be, but now I feel like I still have time to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  Thank you, Julia.

Abby found one of our cordless phones that has been lost for about a year.  I cannot explain how happy finding lost things makes me.  Plus now we’re back  up to three phones for the girls to use and then take somewhere really random and inconvenient and leave it there. Good night.

Some Thoughts

A few months ago, I handed our camera to someone to take some pictures of my family at an event.  When he gave it back to me he was teasing me about what a relic it was and how it was probably time to go buy a decent camera.  Up to that moment I thought I had a pretty nice camera, now I can hardly bring myself to use it.  I mean what’s the point, every picture is terrible.  I kind of can’t believe how drastically that one comment changed my perspective.  I don’t think of myself as being so suggestible, but evidently I am and I don’t like that; however, I really do need a new camera.

I am terrible at coming up with consequences for my kids’ offences.  I mostly say things like, “If you do that one more time there will be serious consequences.”  I hate it when one of them asks “what?”  I think that would be such a great talent to always have a fair and proportionate preferably natural consequence on hand.  Just today, one of my kids forgot their lunch.   I’m really struggling with this particular child to give them their responsibilities back.  I tend to worry more about this child’s responsibilities far more than this child does.  So, today when he/she called what was the right thing to do?   This is not an isolated incident, I get a lot of calls from this child.  Should I rescue them or let them tough it out?   What would you do?

I’ve realized that me talking to someone I care about that happens to not be very talkative is a scary combination, almost lethal.    I saw a friend who I absolutely love the other day and she just had a close family member pass away.  She was with her husband and they’re both so sweet and  soft spoken and reserved.  I really wanted them to know how much I loved them and how sorry I was for their loss and just that I was thinking about them etc.  I walked away from my conversation with them feeling like a bomb that just went off in their faces.  I was honestly talking about 100 miles a minute.  I kept asking them questions and they would answer succinctly and evidently in my head there was more time that needed to be filled with more words and so I just start talking or firing more questions as fast as I could.   I picture the scene animated with them leaning back almost to a 90 degree angle with wind coming out of my mouth and their hair is blowing back.  I seriously am sure they needed a nap after talking to me.  I at least hope they know it was a bomb of love.

“Annie”

A few weekends ago was the much anticipated performance of ACPP’s (Anna and Chloe Play Productions) “Annie”.  There were actually two performances, the role of Annie was double cast.  The play was about an hour and half and it was quite a feat.  I could not believe all of the costumes and props and lines these darling kids had to juggle.  The age range of the performers was 3-12.   Unfortunately, I was running the music and therefore hardly got any good pictures.   Anna had to fill in where they didn’t have the right person for the part, so she played the parts of Lilly, Bert Healey, Pepper and a maid.  She is so much fun to watch, she has such a voice and really just sparkles.  Her Lilly voice was killing me, she really had fun with that ditzy blond role.

Abigail played Grace, an orphan, Mr. Bundles and one of the Boylan sisters.  She honestly probably had 15 costume changes, not to mention a bazillion lines to memorize.  The thing that always kind of catches me off guard with Abby is what a huge voice she has.  She was just belting her little guts out and it sounded fabulous.  She is definitely in her element on stage, she loves every minute of it and is so much fun to watch.

This was Nate’s first taste of stardom.  He played Rooster.  He sort of signed on the play under intense pressure from the directors and wasn’t super into the rehearsals.  He was also really nervous, and I’m not sure he’s dying to do more of that kind of performance, but he was so so so cute.  His shy little Brooklyn accent, and his awkward, sincere choreography was making me tear up from sheer adorableness. 

Ben played the part of Sandy, the dog.  Every time he crawled onto stage you heard a collective, “Awww”.  It was perfect for him, he didn’t have to say a thing, just be up there and look cute in his too small doggie costume.

The Saturday performance got a huge audience turnout, we put 90 chairs out and I’m guessing at least 70 were filled.

These two twelve year old girls, Chloe and Anna, honestly do this completely on their own.  They scavenged for all the costumes, (Chloe’s Mom and I are always surprised to see all kinds of clothes and household items pop up in the performances), wrote the script, choreographed all the numbers, kept 10ish kids of different ages and temperaments occupied every week for 2 hours.  Chloe found and compiled all the music they needed, coordinated extra rehearsals, sent a million emails to the parents, printed programs, had cast t-shirts made, scheduled the church building for the performances, etc, etc, and Anna learned her 4 parts.  Pretty amazing!  We’re so grateful for all the support they got, so thank you so much for all of you who came to see it. 

We are now taking a very long break before staring the next play. 

The “D” Word

The other day Ben casually mentioned that everyone at school had said the “d” word but not to worry he didn’t say it.  Having a hard time picturing his sweet little teachers leading the class in cussing during circle time I decided a few questions were in order.  “What’s the “d” word, again?”  “You know…stupid”.  “Oh, and everyone at school said that?”  “Yep.”  “Even your teachers?”  “No, just my friends, at recess.”  A few little facts make a big difference.

Happy Medium

Yesterday after getting Anna out the door to catch her bus, and driving Nate and Abby’s carpool the two little boys and I drove home and had a nice leisurely morning.  I got a few things done while they played happily.  Then, I bathed the boys, put Joshy down for a nap, got a few more things done, got myself ready and then got Joshy up, fed the boys and loaded them up to take Ben to preschool.  After dropping him off, Joshy and I ran to the school to take Nate a paper he needed and forgot to take, then went to run a few other errands.  We got back home around 2 just long enough to unload some groceries and snuggle for a few minutes before loading back up to go get Ben.  We picked him up and ran to the library for a few minutes then picked up the big kids.  I dropped them home where Chloe and Anna were waiting for me to help them load up the car with all their “Annie” props, scenery and costumes and take them to the church for the big dress rehearsal.  We filled the minivan and took Chloe and another friend, Dani, to the church where we unloaded the car.  I left those two at the church to set up while I went back home.  I helped Abby with her hair and makeup and the boys find their costumes then took all of them and the rest of the scenery back to the church.  I left them at the Church where Chloe’s Mom was going to supervise while I took Joshy home for a  nap.  Joshy wouldn’t go to sleep so I got him up and entertained him for a bit and called to check in on the girls.  Chloe’s mom had gotten held up at home and never made it down there so I loaded Joshy up and went  back down to watch the rest of their dress rehearsal.  They finished an hour or so after I got there and then I helped them clean up.  

We were up on the stage when we heard a sickeningly loud crash.  I looked over to see a big heavy wooden platform (probably about 4 feet wide and 5 feet long) which had been on it’s side fall over and miss Joshua by about 1/4 inch.  I was relieved for a second until Anna screamed that Ben was under it.  As I processed that information I suddenly saw a little blond head behind the curtain underneath the platform.  I ran faster than I ever have and heaved the platform off of Ben’s little body terrified of what might have happened to him.  He was crying softly, but he hadn’t screamed or anything, just sort of whimpered for a long time which was little unnerving.  Thankfully he was fine, just really scared.  Evidently he’d been trying to climb it and it tipped.  I don’t like thinking about what could have happened.  I’m so grateful he and Joshua and everyone else nearby was ok. 

At 6:30, we finally left the church and raced home to feed everyone and help Anna make a recipe she had chosen for a “Bring your favorite recipe and a sample to share with 15 people” activity for mutual.  I chopped 5 pounds of potatoes while Anna combined the other ingredients.  We got the herb-roasted potatoes in the oven behind schedule so she got a ride to mutual and I told her I’d bring the potatoes to the church when they were done.  Brennan went to a game that night straight from work and wouldn’t be home til late.  I helped Abby and Nate with their homework, got Joshua ready for bed, left Abby in charge of Nate and Ben for a minute while I took Josh with me to take the potatoes down to the church to Anna, came home and put Josh to bed.   Nate was tired and frustrated because I wouldn’t let him play video games and spiraled into a pretty decent melt down.  I put him in the laundry room and tried to read to Ben while Abby was reading her own book.  Nate was yelling and Ben and Abby both started crying that they couldn’t focus on their books because of Nate.   The words  “There is beauty all around, when there’s love at home” went through my head as I lost my temper with Nate.  We pulled it together and got Abby, Nate, and Ben to bed.  I waited for Anna to come home from mutual and dig into her vast amounts of homework she hadn’t touched yet.  At 9 she finally waltzed in.  By that time I was in a near vegetative state, but managed to urge her to get ready for bed and go downstairs to start her homework.  By 9:30 she was downstairs and by 10:30 she had half of her math done with instructions to wake her at 6 so she could finish. 

A part of me likes days like that.  I feel busy and productive and involved and aside from a few impatient moments, like a “good mom”.  Everyone was active and involved in something, if someone asked me what I had done all day I could rattle off a list tangible tasks I had done.  However, on days like that my interactions with my kids are logistics and damage control. “Go get your shoes on and grab a snack we have to go.”  “Ben, you won’t ever climb anything ever again without checking with me or Dad first, right?”   “Abby, you can’t permanently reserve a seat in the car, Nate has as much a right to sit there as you do.”

When Anna came home from mutual she wanted to chat and tell me about her activity, but all I could think about was how much homework she still had to do and how much sleep she was going to be deprived, and how much I wanted not to talk or move.  Is there a way to balance getting everything that needs to be done with being ready and willing and alert to listen and to really interact with my kids?  I seem to be either or, either I’m in mellow-ready-f0r-whatever-comes mode, where I can take time for a tender moment, utilize a teaching opportunity, or play a game and let the house fall down around me OR, I can do the task master, productive mode.  I can’t seem to find a happy medium.  Is there a happy medium or is one always at the expense of the other?

Update

 

First of all, I wanted to post a picture of these cute little ornaments my kids painted.  I found these cute plain white ornaments when I was in line at the fabric store after being there for roughly THREE HOURS (the only good thing about that was at least I didn’t have any children with me, but I still wanted to gouge my eyes out).  Anyway, these were like $.30 and I love how they turned out.  They used markers and paint and they’re now my favorite ornaments.  We’ll definitely be doing that each year.

Ben’s, Nate’s, Abby’s, and Anna’s

I love all my children so very, very much at every age, but an 18 month old is my favorite creature EVER.  Joshua is off the charts adorable.  Sure, he has his moments of crankiness, but for the most part he’s just pure payoff.  He’s finally starting to talk a bit, and because he’s been in no hurry to speak, we’ve taught him a few signs.  I’m pretty sure there’s nothing cuter than a baby signing.  He signs and says, “milk”.  He also signs “more” and “shoes”.  Shoes are his favorite thing in his life, he wants them on at all times, and if he can’t have them on because he has footed jammies on and they won’t fit, he either just carries his shoes around or puts a pair of Nate’s or Ben’s on.  Whenever anyone walks in he says, “Hhhhhhiiiiii!”  He also says, “Nigh, nigh!” and sometimes “than koo”.   When we ask him what a cow says, he scrunches up his face, wrinkling his nose and says, “Moooo”.  For Christmas he got one of those darling real looking shopping carts, we have been cracking up watching him get a wet wipe and wipe down the front of the cart like he’s seen me do at the store every time we go.  In case you can’t tell, we love Joshua.

 

Benjamin is a busy guy.  Our neighbors got a Wii and he’s pretty much moved in.  Fortunately, the neighbor kids have preschool every morning, so I still have him around every morning.  He’s so great about playing with his motorcycle guys and blocks for hours.  I tell him a lot how great he’s playing.  Every now and then if I haven’t mentioned it, he’ll say, “Mom, how am I playing?”  It cracks me up.   The other night Joshy was crying and clinging to my leg while I was trying to make dinner.  Ben looked down at him and said, “He is just a mess.”   We love Ben.

Nate is very much a 7 year old boy.  I drove Nate and his friend somewhere the other day and had the privilege of listening to them take turns saying things like:  “You and your girlfriend sat and ate peanut butter together and then burped!” followed by bursts of hysterical laughter, then the other would say something equally “hilarious”.    We love Nathan.

Abby and her friend, Paige, are quite a team.  The other day they played at Paige’s house and made a time capsule.  I asked her if they wanted to do it here, but they told me that they already had a specific spot of ground in mind at Paige’s.   Abby’s school teacher is probably late 40’s early 50’s and is really pretty and stylish.  I bought Abby some long brown boots and some new pants.  She put them all on and was feeling great.  She pranced around for a second and then said, “I’m like a mini Mrs. Potter”.  We love Abigail.

Anna is as busy as ever.  She’s been playing on an indoor soccer team.  Her team has some really good players, but they’re playing teams who have played indoor for years and on comp teams so basically our team is getting pulverized week after week.  It’s been kind of great to watch them though, they’ve made huge progress and are determined to give it everything they have.   She’s also been working really hard on her’s and Chloe’s production of “Annie” and the performances are this weekend!  We love Anna.

Brennan’s two least favorite things in the world are – camping and cold.  He got to combine them and participate in the Klondike campout with his young men this weekend.  Plus, he was in charge.  He’s been losing sleep over this for weeks now so needless to say we’re all very happy that’s over.  He actually had fun too, so that was a bonus.  I’m very proud of him.  We love Brennan.

Annie!

FYI, Anna and Chloe’s production of “Annie” starring Abby as Grace, and Nate as Rooster, Anna as Lilly, and Ben as Sandy (the dog), is this weekend Jan. 28th at 5:30 pm and Jan. 29th at 4:00 pm at my church building in the gym.  It lasts about and hour and a half.  Please do not feel any pressure to come, but several people have asked about it and everyone is welcome.