Happy Medium

Yesterday after getting Anna out the door to catch her bus, and driving Nate and Abby’s carpool the two little boys and I drove home and had a nice leisurely morning.  I got a few things done while they played happily.  Then, I bathed the boys, put Joshy down for a nap, got a few more things done, got myself ready and then got Joshy up, fed the boys and loaded them up to take Ben to preschool.  After dropping him off, Joshy and I ran to the school to take Nate a paper he needed and forgot to take, then went to run a few other errands.  We got back home around 2 just long enough to unload some groceries and snuggle for a few minutes before loading back up to go get Ben.  We picked him up and ran to the library for a few minutes then picked up the big kids.  I dropped them home where Chloe and Anna were waiting for me to help them load up the car with all their “Annie” props, scenery and costumes and take them to the church for the big dress rehearsal.  We filled the minivan and took Chloe and another friend, Dani, to the church where we unloaded the car.  I left those two at the church to set up while I went back home.  I helped Abby with her hair and makeup and the boys find their costumes then took all of them and the rest of the scenery back to the church.  I left them at the Church where Chloe’s Mom was going to supervise while I took Joshy home for a  nap.  Joshy wouldn’t go to sleep so I got him up and entertained him for a bit and called to check in on the girls.  Chloe’s mom had gotten held up at home and never made it down there so I loaded Joshy up and went  back down to watch the rest of their dress rehearsal.  They finished an hour or so after I got there and then I helped them clean up.  

We were up on the stage when we heard a sickeningly loud crash.  I looked over to see a big heavy wooden platform (probably about 4 feet wide and 5 feet long) which had been on it’s side fall over and miss Joshua by about 1/4 inch.  I was relieved for a second until Anna screamed that Ben was under it.  As I processed that information I suddenly saw a little blond head behind the curtain underneath the platform.  I ran faster than I ever have and heaved the platform off of Ben’s little body terrified of what might have happened to him.  He was crying softly, but he hadn’t screamed or anything, just sort of whimpered for a long time which was little unnerving.  Thankfully he was fine, just really scared.  Evidently he’d been trying to climb it and it tipped.  I don’t like thinking about what could have happened.  I’m so grateful he and Joshua and everyone else nearby was ok. 

At 6:30, we finally left the church and raced home to feed everyone and help Anna make a recipe she had chosen for a “Bring your favorite recipe and a sample to share with 15 people” activity for mutual.  I chopped 5 pounds of potatoes while Anna combined the other ingredients.  We got the herb-roasted potatoes in the oven behind schedule so she got a ride to mutual and I told her I’d bring the potatoes to the church when they were done.  Brennan went to a game that night straight from work and wouldn’t be home til late.  I helped Abby and Nate with their homework, got Joshua ready for bed, left Abby in charge of Nate and Ben for a minute while I took Josh with me to take the potatoes down to the church to Anna, came home and put Josh to bed.   Nate was tired and frustrated because I wouldn’t let him play video games and spiraled into a pretty decent melt down.  I put him in the laundry room and tried to read to Ben while Abby was reading her own book.  Nate was yelling and Ben and Abby both started crying that they couldn’t focus on their books because of Nate.   The words  “There is beauty all around, when there’s love at home” went through my head as I lost my temper with Nate.  We pulled it together and got Abby, Nate, and Ben to bed.  I waited for Anna to come home from mutual and dig into her vast amounts of homework she hadn’t touched yet.  At 9 she finally waltzed in.  By that time I was in a near vegetative state, but managed to urge her to get ready for bed and go downstairs to start her homework.  By 9:30 she was downstairs and by 10:30 she had half of her math done with instructions to wake her at 6 so she could finish. 

A part of me likes days like that.  I feel busy and productive and involved and aside from a few impatient moments, like a “good mom”.  Everyone was active and involved in something, if someone asked me what I had done all day I could rattle off a list tangible tasks I had done.  However, on days like that my interactions with my kids are logistics and damage control. “Go get your shoes on and grab a snack we have to go.”  “Ben, you won’t ever climb anything ever again without checking with me or Dad first, right?”   “Abby, you can’t permanently reserve a seat in the car, Nate has as much a right to sit there as you do.”

When Anna came home from mutual she wanted to chat and tell me about her activity, but all I could think about was how much homework she still had to do and how much sleep she was going to be deprived, and how much I wanted not to talk or move.  Is there a way to balance getting everything that needs to be done with being ready and willing and alert to listen and to really interact with my kids?  I seem to be either or, either I’m in mellow-ready-f0r-whatever-comes mode, where I can take time for a tender moment, utilize a teaching opportunity, or play a game and let the house fall down around me OR, I can do the task master, productive mode.  I can’t seem to find a happy medium.  Is there a happy medium or is one always at the expense of the other?