A few months ago, I handed our camera to someone to take some pictures of my family at an event. When he gave it back to me he was teasing me about what a relic it was and how it was probably time to go buy a decent camera. Up to that moment I thought I had a pretty nice camera, now I can hardly bring myself to use it. I mean what’s the point, every picture is terrible. I kind of can’t believe how drastically that one comment changed my perspective. I don’t think of myself as being so suggestible, but evidently I am and I don’t like that; however, I really do need a new camera.
I am terrible at coming up with consequences for my kids’ offences. I mostly say things like, “If you do that one more time there will be serious consequences.” I hate it when one of them asks “what?” I think that would be such a great talent to always have a fair and proportionate preferably natural consequence on hand. Just today, one of my kids forgot their lunch. I’m really struggling with this particular child to give them their responsibilities back. I tend to worry more about this child’s responsibilities far more than this child does. So, today when he/she called what was the right thing to do? This is not an isolated incident, I get a lot of calls from this child. Should I rescue them or let them tough it out? What would you do?
I’ve realized that me talking to someone I care about that happens to not be very talkative is a scary combination, almost lethal. I saw a friend who I absolutely love the other day and she just had a close family member pass away. She was with her husband and they’re both so sweet and soft spoken and reserved. I really wanted them to know how much I loved them and how sorry I was for their loss and just that I was thinking about them etc. I walked away from my conversation with them feeling like a bomb that just went off in their faces. I was honestly talking about 100 miles a minute. I kept asking them questions and they would answer succinctly and evidently in my head there was more time that needed to be filled with more words and so I just start talking or firing more questions as fast as I could. I picture the scene animated with them leaning back almost to a 90 degree angle with wind coming out of my mouth and their hair is blowing back. I seriously am sure they needed a nap after talking to me. I at least hope they know it was a bomb of love.
6 comments:
I'm certain that they didn't feel that you were a bomb. A hot bombshell perhaps... :)
a bomb of love, lol. I love these posts. I so so so relate to #3, I get nervous and in a hyper, lets fill the radio silence with fast talking nonsense mode. Glad to know I came by it honestly. ; )
I think that will be super hard to come up with consequences.I dread the day when I can't use time out anymore.
So funny and relatable. I love picturing the people leaning back and you blowing them away, so funny.
I am sad we missed your girls performance, I am sure it was so good. Do you have video? You should post it.
I'll take a love bomb from you any day! The truth is they probably walked away knowing that you care and appreciated your ability to talk about it.
It is much more awkward and painful when it is constantly on your mind and people just ignore it and don't even ask let alone fill the silence. I think you are fabulous and if anything I am sure you made them smile at least with your beautiful exuberance. Plus don't the shy ones usually love being in the presence of the outgoing people so they don't have to exude themselves?
I don't comment much anymore either Ang. It seems I've gotten lazy.
I so love to read what's going on with you and the sweet family though.
I want a new camera too. I'm thinking Canon Rebel, have you looked into it at all?
Andrea,
Following through with consequences is the hardest part of mothering to me. I have found when I notice a pattern of "forgetfulness" with one of my children I handle it by giving them a "this is it" warning. The next time something is forgotten - you absolutely have to let them feel the pain of their actions / or forgetfullness. The more their actions have consequences the more important those actions / decisions become. I would much rather my 6th grader forget something for school in 6th grade and deal with a zero or loss of "fun Friday" then deal with something more major down the road! But that is the Love and Logic system.....hope it helps! Be strong. They will notice and heed your warning if they know you will not rescue them from experience of not being rescued :-)
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