Blogosophy

I think probably anyone who has blogged for any length of time has probably experienced varying degrees of love and hate for this whole blogging phenomenon. Whatever your feelings are it seems to me that blogging has hit a nerve and is taking over the earth. I feel like perhaps all of us are a little starved for a sense of community and blogging is allowing us to fill that void. Instead of bemoaning the fact that our fast-paced lives, garages (we pull right inside eliminating any chance of chatting with a neighbor), fear of child molesting creeps, and so many other things are now the reality and have slowly pushed out the casual openness and sense of community as depicted in Sandlot, we have grabbed hold of a new substitute. The question is, is it filling the void or only drawing us into our homes more and away from making "real" relationships?

There are those who use their blog as a creative outlet, a journal/family history, a way to connect with family and friends and a way to make new friends. When I started mine I didn't know this entire culture existed. I had only seen group blogs that existed to support some common ideal or theme like Mormon Mommy Wars, Times and Seasons, Millennial Star, etc. I felt like a brilliant pioneer as I realized I could start my own personal blog to transition from writing a somewhat regular update/journal email to friends and family to a much more broad way to record my thoughts, my children's (and husband's) sayings and antics and photos with those who truly want to be part of it and can do it on their schedule. Then to my amazement I discovered this whole individual/family blog thing not only already existed, it was this major sub-culture that had been going strong for quite sometime. There were cute backgrounds, slide shows, background music (which still scares the tar out of me EVERY time I go to a blog with music), sidebars features galore, give-aways, tags, etc.

Plus in a few clicks you can know everything there is to know about your 2nd grade bff or your husband's ex-girlfriend. Weird. Good weird or bad weird? That's a whole other issue, what are the rules? Where are the lines of propriety? Then, just when you're pretty sure you're writing to an audience of your faithful 5 commenters and therefore feeling pretty comfortable and safe in airing your every thought someone you kind of know makes a casual reference to one of your posts. At first you're kind of flattered and then you panic and wonder what you've written that could possibly be offensive or insensitive or something to people you had no idea read your blog.

I've decided that for me I love the access I get into the lives of those I love. Even my family and friends I see regularly, in some respects I know and see way more through their blogs than I do in their presence. And for those family and friends who I never see, it's invaluable. I love that I will have this record of these days with my little family. I love that I have this outlet for my thoughts and feelings as I navigate the ups and downs of motherhood and life in general. I love the rare occasions when there are no misspelled words when I spell check. I love when I get through the word verification letters on my first try.

However, I still struggle to know where the lines are, how much time is too much time to spend posting and reading? Do I want to belong to the "blogging community"? Are comments a healthy way to get some validation or just another popularity contest? Am I endangering or humiliating my children? Am I always true to myself and my family when I post or do I sometimes play to the audience? Have any of you come any conclusions you'd care to share?

Tired and Grateful

You know the old saying "a mothers' work is never done"? It's true. I've been a little under the weather this week and while I'm thrilled that I am now nausea free I have the energy of a fish in one of those big tanks at the doctor's office. (You know the ones I'm talking about, you stare at them for 10 minutes before they move?) Anyway, after vacationing and playing with visiting family there's really so much to be done around the house and yard, but all I can do is stare at it helplessly as I lay on the couch or shuffle into the kitchen to get something for someone. The harder I work at motivating myself to get up and accomplish the many tasks awaiting me the more tired I get. Just today I was working up the energy to get everyone ready for church and woke up at 3:30, we arrived at our 2:00 church at 4:00. (Before you crack some joke about Brennan in your head or to your spouse, he's not feeling well either.)

Oh, and all of this mental anxiety and physical wimpiness is exacerbated by the fact that I'm pretty sure I have a semi-infected spider bite on my leg. It's really big and really sore but the worst part is imagining when and where I was victimized by some disgusting horrible arachnid. Ewww. It's emotional torture.

Anyway, as I've pondered my never-ending to-do list (okay so I don't actually have a written list, I'll get to that (assuming I live through the night) as soon as I've rescued my laundry room floor from complete extinction due to evil overflowing baskets of mostly clean clothes (they have been washed, but now a good portion of them have been stepped on by several sets of feet which are varying degrees of dirty.) that seem to be growing by the second.) I have become really grateful for the large amount of jobs that aren't on my list thanks to Brennan.

Here are a few of the recent things I'm grateful I didn't have to do:

He took my car and: 1: got the brakes fixed, 2: got the big dent banged out, and 3: got the transmission flushed.

Earned, saved and paid the money required to get an air conditioner installed in our house!!!! He also found someone to install it and totally dealt with them for me.

Discovered non-functioning sprinklers and called someone to fix them.

Takes the garbage out, I know that's kind of cliche and may not sound like a big deal but I get kind of claustrophobic when the garbage piles up but I HATE taking it out.

Pays the bills, both by working hard and earning the money for them as well as budgeting and paying them.

Cleaned up after Ben's stomach flu.

Cleans our shower.

Got up early with Ben Saturday and Sunday morning. (We usually each get one morning to sleep in)

Put kids to bed alone numerous times so I could party with my family.

Cleaned the kitchen many times over the weekend.


Those are just a few of the things Brennan has done and always does for us. I'm so grateful. For all those of you who have ever taken care of a family and a house all by yourself I don't know how and just thinking about it makes me realize I really need to get back to the couch.

Mrs. Evelyn L. Ryan

My newest hero is a woman named Evelyn Ryan from the book I just finished, Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio. (It's also a really good movie.) This woman was a mother of 10, married to a barely functional alcoholic (he managed to go to work, but spent a huge part of his minimal income on alcohol.) She juggled her children, her husband and their poverty all by herself. Again and again she faced the most dire circumstances with nothing to fall back on except her wit, faith, and the grace of God. Which, by the way, came through every time. She refused to be a victim and wouldn't allow her children that luxury either. What a woman.

The other thing I LOVE about Mrs. Ryan is that writing was her outlet. She used her trials for inspiration and transformed them into charming little poems and essays. She would have been the ultimate blogger.

I have much to learn from Evelyn. Maybe next time my relatively few children are bickering or my wonderfully loving husband fails to read my mind, or I don't have enough money to buy something really frivolous I'll stop and remember to be grateful, cheerful and faithful (after I blog about it, of course).


As a little bonus for reading my ramblings, here are a couple of poems by someone who really knew how to write, Mrs. Ryan:

Flaw

A husband's a treasure,
A jewel, and a joy;
An in-the-rough diamond;
A gem of a boy;
A pearl of great price,
It has often been said...
But mine has one foible
That makes me see red!
It's been a hard day
From the opening gong;
The washing, the cooking
Have all turned out wrong;
The kids have been hellions;
The house is a wreck.
Now, watch how far Hubby can
Stick out his neck:
With hand on the doorknob,
With pause to survey,
With "Mother, what have you
Been doing all day?"


Writer's Resolution

Enough's enough! No more shall I
Pursue the Muse and scorch the pie;
Or dream of authoring a book
When I (unhappy soul) must cook;
Or burn the steak while I wool-gather,
And stir my spouse into a lather
Invoking words like "Darn!" and such
And others that are worse (Oh, much!)
Concerning culinary knack
Which I (he says) completely lack.
I'll keep my mind upon my work;
I'll learn each boresome cooking quirk;
This day shall mark a new leaf's turning...
That sm--l! Oh H--l! The beans are burning!


Every time I pass the church
I stop and make a visit
So when I'm carried in feet first
God won't say, "Who is it?"